The Art of Being Fully Present with Someone
Attention has become one of the rarest ways human engage anymore. Most conversations are split between notifications, live streams, the group chat on hold, anxiety, and performance. To sit across from someone who is fully present, fully listening, aware of your expressions, the shift in your tone of voice, or when you go silent can feel more intimate that getting naked. Presence changes the emotional intensity of a room, it slows down time, and it magnifies a moment that is also surrounding touch and pleasure.
Which is more likely to fall into your lap by the end of the week; attention or money? If you can answer with, “attention” then you are richer than most.
In a world racing for the next big thing, all while the next big thing keeps getting one-upped, it can feel like any bid for connection must come with a song and a dance. Western culture in general has added insult to injury; making the need for connection synonymous with weakness and co-dependency. Eye contact, muted notifications, these things are worth their minutes in gold.
Time has become a currency that only has an outbox. Attention scoffs at money. Connection is the greatest luxury.
Time spent being ignored? This pains a soul more than a shorted check, a surprise bill. Imagine taking your finite existence and sitting beside someone who missed your last three anecdotes, skipped over your question to change the subject. Imagine someone who has a fake name, is free for one night only, and eyes only for you. Who becomes intoxicated with your past, your plans for the future. Someone you understand will let their mind and memories wander to the moments you shared with them. Who do you feel closer to? Does the length of time spent together truly matter? What if the fantasy isn’t to see someone new, but to be with someone who is committed to seeing you?
A week in; a phone call is forgotten. A month later; a date is rescheduled. A year later; and a birthday is missed. Sprinkled in between are work meetings, news stories, natural disasters, and a new bus route that changed every drop-off and pick-up routine you ever had going for you. The reality of this modern world is that we are first and foremost co-workers, surviving. Then we get the benefit of being friends, family, lovers, and more. The time in between this is spent dancing from one modern distraction to the next. It’s no wonder the world is both peeking at that text message, and offended when their friend is caught in a doom-scroll. How does trust and understanding grow in this modern world, where at no fault of our own, our attention spans rob us of important details and reaction time when it counts. It’s no surprise we find ourselves questioning who has space for all of us.
Find your own slice of attention and take a moment in my room you'll be able to melt into. Email Opal Today 🤍
I’ve joked that in my room, you may feel naked in more ways than one. It’s hard not feel someone’s eyes on your as you move. Before we undress you’ll already have jumped into a conversation you never thought you’d open up with. You’ve hopefully felt that I am bound not by my phone, by the time, or whatever screen is nearest, but your part in our meeting. There is a sensation that you’ll feel when my attention surrounds you with no need for explanation, no need for context. No moment we share can truly happen without you in it. You are the unique detail that is perfect for our intimacy, pleasure, and touch. It’s never just how I work that makes me stand out. It’s on the way I watch you work, and dance with you back and forth that you’ll remember me by.
My goal is not to dive in and remove your clothes; it’s to dive in and break down walls.
